The main thrust of my studio work so far this semester has been around two paintings; – one just black and white and one just colour. The aim with these paintings is to use the process of making explicitly as a form of research. Each is exploring a different theme and different techniques and modes of working.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been working almost exclusively on the colour painting, having put the black and white one to one side for a while. I wanted to get some more momentum going with the making of this piece.
The theme of the research with this colour painting is improvisation – an experiment in being spontaneous, loose and expressive, alongside an investigation of my emotional response to colour relationships. Part of the motivation for this is that I’m trying to find ways to overcome some fears and inhibitions; to be more expressive and experimental; to let work develop rather than trying to realise a pre-existing idea in a very controlled way. I’m also interested in meditative or ‘flow’ states that tap into deeper psychological or subconscious resources through being ‘in the moment’ and not focussed on either past or future. This is quite a different state to being outcome focussed and constantly thinking the work through.
To set this up I chose to make the work somewhat performative, being on full view and with a degree of physicality imposed by standing up to paint on a canvas fixed to the wall and using larger brushes than I’m used to. In addition, I made the decision to work purely with colour; trying to avoid using line or form to determine the composition as far as possible. To facilitate a fairly quick process I decided to use mostly pre-mixed colours or mixing on the canvas and blending with dry brushing; (as opposed to glazing or wetter techniques that take time to dry).
A short while after starting this painting Kerry Andrews suggested that I look up Per Kirkeby. I really like his paintings, I find some of them reminiscent of geology lessons, – looking down microscopes at thin sections of different crystalline rocks. I’ve taken inspiration from the way he applies colour in patches without obvious form and with irregular boundaries between them and tried to apply some of this to my painting.
Kirkeby images scanned from: Borchardt-Hume, A. (Ed.). (2009/0. Per Kirkeby. London. Tate Publishing
On reflection, I set myself rather a lot of challenges all at once. I have, at times, been frustrated and quite despondent, not at all confident that I can be loose and expressive or make a painting this way. I haven’t found any ‘flow’ or spontaneity yet and everything feels very forced and contrived. However, I’m trying to stay detached and just observe what’s happening. This in itself is an interesting experience.
The main challenge has been an overriding feeling of intimidation. This is due to a number of factors: fear of spoiling and wasting a good canvas; a general ‘performance anxiety’, (not helped by being in an essentially public thoroughfare); simply unused to being spontaneous, (too used to being in control); a sense of not having a well developed repertoire, (lacking in experience, skills, and vocabulary); not having anything to respond to, (starting with a blank white canvas); and a belief that I need to come up with a finished painting.
There have also been some specific tendencies I’ve become aware of as I’m working:-
- to revert to smaller brushes
- to ‘clean up’ boundaries or ‘properly’ blend areas of differing colour
- to make shapes and develop relationships between these at least as much as between colours alone
- towards fairly bold primary colours over subtle hues
- towards bright luminous colour over muted tones
I still need to do more work with this painting and there’s much more to reflect upon. Although I’ve experienced a lot of frustration, it’s generated a lot of ‘good stuff’ to take forward into next semester.
As I was working one afternoon I had a chat with my tutor Paul Johnson. He pointed out that I don’t have to be ‘loose’ to be expressive. Perhaps I’m equating a loose painterly kind of expression with a sense of freedom. It’s something to bear in mind, but I still do have a strong desire to break through what I feel as a stifling barrier of inhibition. Paul also reiterated his suggestion to go big. That’s something I’m definitely going to do with my next painting.